I wish I never had to state the questions “whose underwear are you wearing today” to my children ever. Honestly, I never thought I would ever have to mutter those words. In my entire life. But sadly, I have asked that question about once a month since I’ve had children. And sometimes more than that.
My daughter has worn my sons and my son has worn his fathers and I have worn my husbands and my husband sticks to his own. I wear my husbands as pajama short when I run out of clean clothes. My daughter wears her brothers a lot. I mean on such a basis that I check her underwear sometimes. Do not get me wrong, she’s had accidents in public and I had extra boy undies in the car and threw them on her. Sometimes you just have to deal with whatever is in front of you.
Even more pathetic, that’s not the worst thing I have ever asked my children or they have asked me. My daughter asked me the other day if “Chinese people gave good presents”. We can thank her father for that one. This past birthday she didn’t want to invite white people to her party. But she is white you say, we tried explaining that to her. It didn’t matter, white people weren’t invited. So my husband decided to explain “But white people give the best gifts”. The entire Caucasian race can thank my Mexican husband for that. He said the racist statement. I was fine not going to her party ha.
Oh! I flipped through the channels and Mean Girls was on ABC Family. How bad could it be? “If you have sex, you will get pregnant and you will die” was the first lines out of the movie that we heard. My daughter looked up and goes “Is Vanessa going to die?” and that was the end of Mean Girls for us. Vanessa is her biological mother who is having a child out of wedlock. Abigail is now convinced that if she doesn’t marry her boyfriend that there is a chance she will die. I keep explaining that won’t happen, but she’s four and I am a dumby who forgets what movies say. It was ABC Family!
OH!!! Abigail is afraid that Zombies will come out of public toilets. That would be a mixture of both of my husband and I’s fault because we talk about Zombie movies and shows a lot.
My father called once and asked my son which Justin he was talking to and he responded “The good looking one”. Yea he thinks he’s hot stuff. He’s five going on sixteen.
When they say “kids say the darnedest things” they mean it. Kids will say anything and repeat everything. They will embarrass you at those moments you need them to be on their best behaviors.
Just remember, they will embarrass you more when they are teenagers and get to pick out their own clothes. These are the good years.