Monday was a bit difficult for me honestly. We started our morning fighting. I just couldn’t help it. I was in a bad mood from the day before and I just couldn’t shake it off. It’s all just excuses. I wanted to feel like I won the fight, but all I felt was bitter. I even yelled at him “I’m glad my body keeps rejecting your babies”. I was so mean. I can’t believe he didn’t just lock me in my room.
At lunch time I found out my husband had booked us reservations for dinner. I was so mean to him because I thought he forgot about date night, and it turns out he pulled something out. I am really proud of him about date night. Oh lunch time I had corn tortillas, half a chicken breast chopped up, and hot sauce. I have been craving tacos forever now and these just hit the spot. I want to have some cheese with it, but I held back.
We then went to the RE (fertility doctor) to go talk to them about clomid. Well that dream was shot out the window. Our insurance won’t cover clomid or IUI at all. BUT they do cover 1 fresh IVF and 1 frozen. SO in a perfect world, I have 2 months of IVF. Okay for all you fertile people out there. I went in there for a inhaler for asthma and walked out with a sleep apnea machine. I knew everything they were talking about but I was overwhelmed with it all happening now. I thought IVF was years down the road for us, not within months. Then the bigger bombshell was dropped. I could start next week and be pregnant by the end of June.
The process of IVF is this: Blood work, birth control, medicine to make me produce A LOT of eggs, shots, a lot of doctors appointments, them stealing my eggs and shooting them up with sperm, and dropping them back in me.
A bit overwhelming when you go in for 1 prescription. But yeah. Now I’m here and Tuesday I will be going in for blood work to get everything started. This doesn’t affect my weight loss. I am going to up my calories to 1800 calories a day and when I do get pregnant, I will consult my gyno about how many calories a day I should be eating. I won’t be eating 4000 calories a day while pregnant. I understand that going into this that I don’t have to eat for two. I know that I only need to eat 300-400 more calories a day.
I started crying in the car. I just found out I had PCOS, that I was going to get IVF, I was so upset because I thought I would be playing God with IVF, and that I will finally be pregnant. All those feelings hit me at once and man I was a mess in the car.
My husband didn’t return to work and spent the day at the house with the kids and I. I was even able to fit in a shower before our big date.
So yeah our date. It was at one of the best restaurant rated on YELP near us. I wanted to go grab some BBQ and drown sorrows in some sweet tea. I looked at the prices of this place before this, but I didn’t want to ruin the night. So I just went with it.
Then we found out this place was in a shopping center behind a gas station. Then we found out we were the only ones in there. Yeah I was REALLY SKEPTICAL at this point.
But then the service was amazing and not just our server, but the cook. My husband is highly allergic to green beans and let them know and the chef said something sarcastically like “Look I just make the food, I can’t be in charge of him living”. It was a fun little place that I think on the weekend is packed. When we were leaving a family was coming in. We ordered duck empanadas, french onion soup, LA burger, and NY strip, with 2 glasses of wine. We spent about a hundred bucks. Not too bad actually. It was fun and something we don’t do usually. I mean when you go to dinner and a movie you spend about that much. I rather just spend it on good food.
Oh and how do you think I did on calories today? I was under by 6. This is just an estimate because their nutritional facts weren’t available. So I was probably over, but not by much. Maybe a couple hundred.